No Matter What Padded Board Book (Send a Story)

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Lisa snapped out of her misery and decided to own her problems so she could do something about them. And she did. Normally, when this happens, the rest as they say becomes history and people go on to make it big in the area of motivational speaking and use their story as a reference point: throw in the sexual molestation she experienced at age five, and the picture is complete. This is the ordinary model and of course Lisa was also sexually molested when she was only five! I found this book almost unbearably moving and, ultimately, uniquely uplifting. I have never before read, in a single book, such a compelling portrait of the horrors of child neglect and its consequences, alongside a portrait of the historical inadequacies of adoption assessment and post adoption support. This is a staggeringly vivid account of a heroic struggle by heroic adopters to heal the deep scars of neglect and abuse. I cannot recommend it warmly enough. No Matter What is by a long way the best account ever written of the experience of being an adoptive parent and carer of children traumatised by maltreatment. With heart-wrenching candour, it tells the story of a couple's journey through the pain of childlessness, the adoption process, and the lived experience of caring for Jaymey and Harlee whose early lives were 'almost unbearable to read about'. Sally Donovan evokes brilliantly the commitment, energy, therapeutic skill and humanity required to care for and heal children whose past abuse has left them distressed, feeling unworthy and acting out in often chaotic ways. This remarkable book is not only a major contribution to work on child welfare; such is the sheer power and brilliance of the writing that it triumphs as a work of literature, as art. Utterly compelling and humane, No Matter What is essential reading for all those who care for and about vulnerable children, adoption and fostering and who are open to being inspired by the healing power of love. I am, and will remain, totally in awe of Sally and her husband Rob. Their empathy and resilience is sure to inspire anyone who reads this book, particularly those thinking about adopting a child. We see now that a crocodile has taken Small's place in the bathtub. Large extends a hand, holding out Small's toothbrush and toothpaste.

Sigh. I didn't see this as a grief/death thing at all, instead I interpreted it as a "someone's moved away" scenario. I guess you could be very liberal with your interpretation and see this as dealing with grief/death, but it's not explicit enough for me and this does NOT count as a "help your child cope with grief" book for me at all. Large and Small are completely genderless. This makes the story fit with any kind of parent/child or grandparent/child or relative/child or grown-up/child pairing you might have upon reading it.

About the contributors

Having wandered around academia for the last 5 years, I have experimented with writing, working and academic productivity techniques a lot. The main reason is that I had the gut feeling (equally close to wishful thinking) that the competitive environment we academics live in, should not lead to a life of stress, bad writing and a tilted work-life balance. From this perspective, 'Write No Matter What' felt like a small victory, a very personal 'see-I-told-you-so!' that strengthens my beliefs and quest for an ever more productive - and hence mentally healthy - academic life. I have mixed feelings about this book. In the introduction, the author explains she is trying to enumerate what is often left mystified, specifically how to write at an academic level in addition to all the other responsibilities one has in grad and post-grad academic life. But ultimately the book feels like it trades one pathology for another, namely the one found in the title. "Write No Matter What" just sounds so unhealthy as a mantra, as if you are so busy you can't afford not to write, so you have to cram it into any free moment you have, like all your other work. It was this overwhelmed/bragging about being busy atmosphere which alarmed me most about returning to school. I don't think the author of this book intended to give off that vibe, but much of her advice felt like it was still operating from a place of fear rather than a place of love. I'm not an academic and I don't remember how I heard about this book, but as someone who's always trying to write but rarely seems to find the time and energy, I figured anyone who could help academics (who are clearly always stretched thin and crazy busy) could help me. Every time I say that I am through with reading self-help books, then another one falls into my lap.

If you've ever wondered what it's like to adopt, this book holds the answer: it's hard, sometimes traumatic, and far from "normal family life". It's also special, joyful, and utterly transformative - for parents as much as children. Yes our families are different; this book explains in both a moving and matter-of-fact way why we are proud to be so. I've watched Lisa Nichols light up rooms and inspire thousands for years. As a featured teacher in The Secret, she explained the Law of Attraction, but now, for the first time, she reveals her own secret to the Law of No Matter What . Read this book, and learn to create the things in life you believed were out of reach." -- Marci Shimoff, bestselling author of Happy for No Reason and featured teacher in The Secret

About Debi Gliori

Tal Ben-Shahar (Hebrew: טל בן-שחר‎, also known as Tal David Ben-Shachar) is an Israeli teacher and writer in the areas of positive psychology and leadership. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in personal growth and experiencing more wellbeing. As I was reading, I kept thinking of people I would love to gift a copy to. With great humility Sally shares her journey of courage, hope and persistence in boldly loving her children despite the odds, no matter what...Throughout the book I laughed and cried, experiencing the highs and lows of loving children who have lived the unthinkable. For too long adopters walked this journey very much alone. We must now accompany them on this journey, in our neighbourhoods, communities and cities, and within our education, social care and health services. Together we can make a difference; each life is precious, however fragile and different. No Matter What communicates this truth, and is an important contribution at this time of policy change.